Blame

I am a survivor of incest. The incest lasted for a period of ten years. (ages 5-15) I am now 44 years old and I can say I am so well with the help of God, my family and counselor. It all changed the day I moved to Maryland from Michigan in 2004. I was living in a place where I did not have any family or support system at all. After arriving to Maryland things got rough. I started feeling very lonely and the flashbacks started. I had a hard time adjusting to the new environment and the people were not as friendly as the people were in Michigan. I really did not know what to do about what was going on with me, but it started getting worse and I was forced to figure it out. Dealing with issues head on is the best way to conquer the effects of sexual abuse. Not being afraid to remember what happen. That is the only way you will conquer the demons.

Many of us struggle with blaming ourselves for the abuse. That is wrong. No matter what course of action you took, it was not your fault. It does not matter if you accepted a ride from a relative stranger, were intoxicated at a party, trusted a friend, accepted what a family member told you as truth, or were raped by a spouse or significant other. You did not deserve what happened to you. We all have the right to safety and respect; in retrospect, it is easy to criticize ourselves for the course of action we took, but the truth is that the fault always lies in the hands of the abuser.

I found myself in a state of turmoil. It was affecting my daily life and I needed to get a handle on the problem. We can not live in the past. We have to find ways to get through it. Hope is out there.

Empower Yourself,

Casey