I am a 44 year old survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I have lived with this fact for years. I hid it from everyone, and tried so hard to hide it from myself. It had been eating my soul away, piece by piece. Half of my life has vanished, unnoticed, unseen. Too difficult for me to sit down or slow down to put my struggles to journal form. I am ready now. I no longer carry the load of shame. This is saved for my abuser. It is his turn. I choose to take life on, instead of fearing it. I choose to use my voice to educate society, that child abuse happens.
I speak for the abuse survivors who have been abused."You are forgiven, beautiful little girl, for all of the things that hurt you and scared you. You are forgiven, young and blossoming lady, for holding yourself back in fear and for numbing your pain. You are forgiven, struggling mother, for missing the mark of perfection you had been blindly leaping at. You are forgiven for the wounds you never realized you were making on yourself.
If the need or void is not dealt with proactively, the abuse often survives in the survivor. Shadows of the abuse live on in various forms, because the abuse victim looks for satisfaction in the wrong ways or places. Having never known genuine love, the abuse survivor can only imitate love in return. It does get better.
Empower Yourself,
Casey
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